I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
