hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Everclear isn't food dammit
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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