I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
