Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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