dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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