how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
