the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
