My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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