Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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