Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
