If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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