I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
