I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
