We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
