ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Your cock deserves a montage
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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