how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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