I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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