You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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