There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
