made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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