nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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