She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
love makes seman taste better
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
