I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
