Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
