69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
