he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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