I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
