So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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