No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
okay pat passed out under dana's car
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
