I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
