dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
