I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
