get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
