It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
