Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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