Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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