i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
