Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
