My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
