before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
