We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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