Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
