I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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