Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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