Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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