what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
