coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
