That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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