He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
