Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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