Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We are two peas in an std pod
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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